12 Reasons Dogs Are Better Than Your Spouse
Thursday, October 13, 2016 7:51 PM
Why dogs are better than your boyfriend or girlfriend.
- Your dog will always greet you with happy barks and his or her tail will always wag. It doesn’t matter if you bring home the ‘bacon or not.’ When was the last time that your spouse was so excited that he or she jumped up and down when you came home? Probably NEVER.
- No accusations. PARTNER: Did you just fart in the bed? Did you eat the last biscuit? Did you forget to replace the loo roll? etc etc DOG: Yes that’s my fart, I’m proud of it, I’ll own it. Do one yourself, I don’t care. Let’s just share the last biscuit.
- Dogs make the best traveling companions. They don't mess with the a/c; they don't mess with the radio; and they think you are the world's best driver.
- Walking with your dog can prove socially-beneficial for you. A dog on a leash attracts more attention than a grumpy spouse texting on a cell phone.
- No guilt trips. PARTNER: I can’t believe you did that! DOG: Whatever you do is fine by me and I trust you with everything. Even my favorite toys.
- Your pooch may snore, but you won’t notice it. Not like when your spouse does. How many times have you thought there was a train coming through your bedroom?
- No stress. PARTNER: Where are we going with this relationship? What are we doing with our lives? DOG: Hey, wanna hang out? Maybe take a nap?
- Dogs never try and control the remote; they are happy watching whatever you wanna watch.
- No breaking up. PARTNER: It’s not you, it’s me. DOG: Can we still be friends?
- No expectations. PARTNER: We never do anything together any more. You’ve put on a few pounds. You’ve let yourself go. DOG: You always look great. Can I sit on your lap?
- Dogs won't ever max out your credit cards.
- Dogs never complain about what music you listen to. They are happy with whatever choice you make.
No confusion. PARTNER: I don’t know what you want from me. DOG: Sit. Stay. Roll over. What do you want me to do next?
Your dog doesn’t need you to entertain him or her. Give him or her a chew toy or a ball or an empty bag to chase around the hall of your apartment or throw him or her a stick. Your dog is always a cheap date. Your spouse will need pampering or prizes.